Over Done
Like so many people who get CFS, I tend to overdo things. Alot. I push myself to my limits, I take on too much, and then I have to back off, retreat, and rest. I'm also an introvert. It takes a tremendous amount of energy for me to socialize, engage, answer the phone, emails, and texts. I need huge, vast amounts of time to myself. I don't really need people. I do, but not as much as the next person. I am happy to read, write, work in my glass studio, ride my bike. Lunches, parties, anything that involves other people can feel like a chore. Oftentimes I'm a bad friend. I can go "underground" for quite awhile.
So after working in my nursing job, teaching several yoga classes a week, and my daughter graduating from high school, I am exhausted. I am burned out. Again. I'm not physically tired. I just need time. Alone. To do nothing. I've had to reduce the number of classes I'm teaching, cancel plans with friends, take a few days off of work and retreat. Go underground, and have no plans. I need to be on "vacation mode", with no obligations.
So after working in my nursing job, teaching several yoga classes a week, and my daughter graduating from high school, I am exhausted. I am burned out. Again. I'm not physically tired. I just need time. Alone. To do nothing. I've had to reduce the number of classes I'm teaching, cancel plans with friends, take a few days off of work and retreat. Go underground, and have no plans. I need to be on "vacation mode", with no obligations.
I relate to this a lot, but I wonder about the introvert thing. Most of my life I've acted like an introvert because I basically had huge social anxiety. Being around people was tiring because I always thought I had to be something that I thought I wasn't in order to be liked and accepted. But I actually get a lot of energy from people who are non-judgemental and accepting. My early life experiences of people were very painful, so now I see myself as a traumatised extrovert, and my recovery from CFS involves spending more time with people I trust, and less isolation. I'm wondering if this resonates with you?
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Graham
hi Graham, see my reply below...
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ReplyDeleteHi Graham I too suffered from social anxiety as a result of trying to cover up the "real" me. This definitely formed my introverted tendencies ... I was much more extroverted as a child and young adult, and I fo "suffer" with being extremely introverted, but I feel as though I've had to be this way...it is a bit unfortunate but like you I feel energized when I'm around people who are "easy" to be with... So yes I think it's similar to what you are saying!
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