Body, Mind, Love

When I was very young I loved to play tennis. I would play any chance I got,  and if I couldn't find anyone to play with, I would hit tennis balls against the wall. I didn't take lessons, I just loved to play. One day I was playing on some public courts in the city when a woman  saw me playing. She found out who my parents were, and called them, and suggested I enter a fairly competitive juniors program. Everyone was impressed that I hadn't taken lessons, and I quickly improved with the proper instruction. A couple of years into it, I hit a wall. I lost confidence.  I didn't have the mental strength and focus I needed, and I got too nervous to play. I was deeply frustrated because my body knew how to play, but my mind kept getting in the way. I had no mental game.  I felt weak and mentally deficient. I thought I was a head case.  My mind would not do what my body was telling it to do.  There was a breakdown in my mind/body communication. I knew this on a very deep level. I could physically, but not mentally play. I felt like a failure, and I quit.

Because I love tennis, I came back to it, picking it up at various times in my life, when the time was right.  So since my recovery from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, I've picked up tennis again, and I've started to play on a tennis team. Before our match this morning our coach said, "the body will do what the mind tells it to." This was great, because it gave me something to think about during my match! I wanted to refute what he said, because although I know what he means, and the spirit in which he said it, I don't think it's entirely true. I think it falls short. I think the body is in charge. Because, after all, our body, not our mind, houses our soul.


Have you ever played a sport so much that it becomes second nature? Your body just knows what to do, without you thinking about it.  There is a combination of muscle memory and body knowledge. Time seems to slow down, you move, anticipate, and control the game. You're in the flow, you don't have to think, you can play your very best while pondering concepts like "your mind will do what your body tells it to..."you're in the zone. Body and mind, mind and body are working as one.

 During my match today I was trying out my theory that mind follows body, not the other way around. I was doing really well with it, the theory was working! I was, as usual, playing without thinking. And then about half way into the match I became tired. My body was tired. My legs were kill-ing me. My body wanted to sit down and rest. But my mind was overriding my body, telling it to keep going, dig deep, find my strength and energy, and not to give up. Of course I kept going! I love to play, and I love to play my best, and I love that competitive edge I feel when I'm playing well.  And when it was over I rested and gave my body well deserved food and drink and ...chocolate. Because I love chocolate.

But I felt a bit confused because my theory wasn't really working out...at the end of the match, my body was doing as my mind told it to. My mind was overriding my body.  Had I been listening to my body, I would have stopped playing when I felt tired and I was in pain. I would have sat down, said I'd had enough, and forfeited the match. And then I would feel bad.

What happens when your body gets tired? How do you become faster, better, stronger if your body
is running things, telling your mind what to do? What tells your body to keep going? Is it your mind?
And then it came to me. It's love. It's love for the game, love for the sport, love of competition, love of pushing yourself to your mental and physical limits. When the going gets tough, love keeps you going. Love is a pain reliever,  an energizer, a healing tonic. It makes things that seem impossible, possible. And it makes that old annoying saying make sense "it's not whether you win or lose it's how you play the game"...but I would change that to it's how much you loved playing the game.

This epiphany took the sting off of a losing match. It was worth it. I got it. What kept me going through my  match today is what kept me going when I was searching for a cure for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome...my love for an active and physical lifestyle. What kept me going when I would relapse
midway through my recovery from CFS.. and not once, but several times? Love and the taste of what life could be like again if I were to regain my health.

So there you have it. If I were to draw a pyramid and place those three words around it. Love would be on the top, with body and mind on either side.  It really is above all else.