Dancing With The Mind
I've recently enrolled in a Mindfulness Meditation Class. I did this at the urging of one of my friends, and with some hesitation. Many years ago I experimented with Mindfulness after reading John Kabat-Zinn's book, Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Every Day Life. I recall watching a documentary about Kabat-Zinn and his mindfulness class as well. Using his book, I practiced Mindfulness..which in my mind meant "paying attention to what you are thinking about". It drove me crazy... it literally made me want to jump out of my skin...I stopped, and continued with my own meditation practice, ( simply following my breath) and experimenting with various meditation CD's off and on over the years.
Mindfulness Meditation seems to have become big business. I think this is because there have been actual scientific studies done on the positive effects of Mindfulness, and now there seems to be a lot of funding for teaching mindfulness to school students. Because I'm me, anything with "science" and "funding" is, well, to be questioned. Who benefits? Where is the money going? Where is the money coming from? Why this particular form of meditation which seems to be so focused on the mind?
I'm only a week into the course, so the jury is still out. So far the class material and practices have inspired me to question the mind. How we use the mind, and what the role of our minds in our lives really is. Mindfulness is meant to distance you from your thinking, become aware of your thought patterns, and understand that your thoughts aren't you and they are not always true. Sounds a lot like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which has been the gold standard for psychotherapy.. again following scientific studies about it's effectiveness. Both of these things help us to understand the mind, and maybe our relationship with it, but in my experience that is only the first step.
In our culture, thinking is king, and the mind , and it's place in our lives is overemphasized. When I was in school, I was specifically taught to say "I think" rather than "I feel". The reason being is that thinking gives, well, thought, more credence than feeling.
Thinking, I believe, is best for solving complex objective problems. The intellect can surf the waves of a multitude of interesting and complex issues, and the mind enjoys it! The mind likes to be busy! But when it comes to everyday life, feeling is key. When we think about our daily problems or even the problem with life, our minds start to create stories. It is the minds way of understanding pain. We start to rationalize everything we don't like, or don't feel good about. Our stories and rationalizations take root and grow wings, and on top of our pain and suffering, on top of the problem with life, we have stories. And then our life becomes the story. It becomes false and inauthentic, and adds a layer of fiction to smother the layer of pain.
I don't think it's necessary to pay much attention to our thinking. My fear ( one weak into a Mindfulness Course!) is that paying attention to thinking, avoiding thinking, being aware of your thinking, drives you up into your head too much. The real wisdom, the seat of the soul, the source of creative problem solving, is really in the body. When we let go of our thinking, and let our body lead, amazing things begin to happen, not the first being that we start to relax, and to trust the deeper, and real wisdom of our bodies. When I trust my body enough to negotiate, and lead me through my day, amazing things start to happen. I live from a body-centered state. Meaning I don't think, and follow my thinking, I lead with my body. I listen to it. I have a relationship with it. Most of us have this relationship with our bodies that is very superficial. Am I too short? Too tall? Am I too fat? Too old? What kind of body do I have? We don't even think of our body as a vehicle or even a form within which our souls dwell.
What makes me most uncomfortable about mindfulness, and I remember this from my first introduction to mindfulness, specifically when I watched a documentary about John Kabat-Zinn and his mindfulness students, is that it seems to highlight human suffering. I watched his documentary twenty years ago, and I still remember the students that were featured. What I remember is their suffering, and suffering in the worst of ways. It made a huge impression on me. Because most of them were in circumstances that were not going to change, and were difficult to bear. And somehow, the magic of mindfulness was helping to ease their pain. I was skeptical.
When I was in nursing school I took a theology course called The Mystery of Suffering. Essentially, it was about why God allows us to suffer.Why newborn babies die, children get cancer, people are or become horribly disabled...how could a loving God allow this to happen? We see so much of it. We all suffer. It's part of the human condition, and my only explanation both then and now is that suffering is essential for growth. Anything that has made me suffer in life has spurned me on to more and more spiritual growth and wisdom. So perhaps suffering and pain are a path to God. And where does God dwell? In the body.
So mindfulness, to me, is only a third of the equation. We are not dualistic mind/body beings. And when we ignore our bodies by placing them at the altar of our minds, we aren't doing ourselves any favors. It throws us off balance. Any practice that emphasizes mind over body, mind and body over soul, simply negates who we are, and misaligns us with our true nature. We are mind, body, and soul.
The body houses the soul..it is sacred; the mind, which struggles for control over body and soul, needs to be brought into balance. I suppose practices like Mindfulness Meditation and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy are a start...a beginners guide, if you will,
to having a relationship with the mind.
But, perhaps because I am a Yoga teacher, I will always refer back to yoga, which takes into account that we are indeed tertiary beings. Body,mind, and soul. Yoga, as defined in the Yoga Sutras, is defined as the "stilling of the fluctuations of the mind". When we quiet the mind, we can tune into the soft whispers of our body, speaking the language of our souls.
Mindfulness Meditation seems to have become big business. I think this is because there have been actual scientific studies done on the positive effects of Mindfulness, and now there seems to be a lot of funding for teaching mindfulness to school students. Because I'm me, anything with "science" and "funding" is, well, to be questioned. Who benefits? Where is the money going? Where is the money coming from? Why this particular form of meditation which seems to be so focused on the mind?
I'm only a week into the course, so the jury is still out. So far the class material and practices have inspired me to question the mind. How we use the mind, and what the role of our minds in our lives really is. Mindfulness is meant to distance you from your thinking, become aware of your thought patterns, and understand that your thoughts aren't you and they are not always true. Sounds a lot like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which has been the gold standard for psychotherapy.. again following scientific studies about it's effectiveness. Both of these things help us to understand the mind, and maybe our relationship with it, but in my experience that is only the first step.
In our culture, thinking is king, and the mind , and it's place in our lives is overemphasized. When I was in school, I was specifically taught to say "I think" rather than "I feel". The reason being is that thinking gives, well, thought, more credence than feeling.
Thinking, I believe, is best for solving complex objective problems. The intellect can surf the waves of a multitude of interesting and complex issues, and the mind enjoys it! The mind likes to be busy! But when it comes to everyday life, feeling is key. When we think about our daily problems or even the problem with life, our minds start to create stories. It is the minds way of understanding pain. We start to rationalize everything we don't like, or don't feel good about. Our stories and rationalizations take root and grow wings, and on top of our pain and suffering, on top of the problem with life, we have stories. And then our life becomes the story. It becomes false and inauthentic, and adds a layer of fiction to smother the layer of pain.
I don't think it's necessary to pay much attention to our thinking. My fear ( one weak into a Mindfulness Course!) is that paying attention to thinking, avoiding thinking, being aware of your thinking, drives you up into your head too much. The real wisdom, the seat of the soul, the source of creative problem solving, is really in the body. When we let go of our thinking, and let our body lead, amazing things begin to happen, not the first being that we start to relax, and to trust the deeper, and real wisdom of our bodies. When I trust my body enough to negotiate, and lead me through my day, amazing things start to happen. I live from a body-centered state. Meaning I don't think, and follow my thinking, I lead with my body. I listen to it. I have a relationship with it. Most of us have this relationship with our bodies that is very superficial. Am I too short? Too tall? Am I too fat? Too old? What kind of body do I have? We don't even think of our body as a vehicle or even a form within which our souls dwell.
What makes me most uncomfortable about mindfulness, and I remember this from my first introduction to mindfulness, specifically when I watched a documentary about John Kabat-Zinn and his mindfulness students, is that it seems to highlight human suffering. I watched his documentary twenty years ago, and I still remember the students that were featured. What I remember is their suffering, and suffering in the worst of ways. It made a huge impression on me. Because most of them were in circumstances that were not going to change, and were difficult to bear. And somehow, the magic of mindfulness was helping to ease their pain. I was skeptical.
When I was in nursing school I took a theology course called The Mystery of Suffering. Essentially, it was about why God allows us to suffer.Why newborn babies die, children get cancer, people are or become horribly disabled...how could a loving God allow this to happen? We see so much of it. We all suffer. It's part of the human condition, and my only explanation both then and now is that suffering is essential for growth. Anything that has made me suffer in life has spurned me on to more and more spiritual growth and wisdom. So perhaps suffering and pain are a path to God. And where does God dwell? In the body.
So mindfulness, to me, is only a third of the equation. We are not dualistic mind/body beings. And when we ignore our bodies by placing them at the altar of our minds, we aren't doing ourselves any favors. It throws us off balance. Any practice that emphasizes mind over body, mind and body over soul, simply negates who we are, and misaligns us with our true nature. We are mind, body, and soul.
The body houses the soul..it is sacred; the mind, which struggles for control over body and soul, needs to be brought into balance. I suppose practices like Mindfulness Meditation and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy are a start...a beginners guide, if you will,
to having a relationship with the mind.
But, perhaps because I am a Yoga teacher, I will always refer back to yoga, which takes into account that we are indeed tertiary beings. Body,mind, and soul. Yoga, as defined in the Yoga Sutras, is defined as the "stilling of the fluctuations of the mind". When we quiet the mind, we can tune into the soft whispers of our body, speaking the language of our souls.
This is an important distinction to make. I've done a lot of mindfulness and meditation as well. But I don't think it ever taught me to honor my body wisdom or trust my feelings. I think it disconnected me from my emotions even more. It helped me be able to numb or disassociate. Interesting that the whole wisdom behind mindfulness is detachment.
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